His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
my poor anus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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