The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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