Small penises have feelings too.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
