I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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