when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
