Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
