I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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