So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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