i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
