The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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