I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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