I will die if light touches me.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
