real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
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a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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