I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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