i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
