I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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