you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
