youre lurking in front of me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
