Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
you made out with another girl for some wings
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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