I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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