I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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