Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
