we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
