I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
two words...techno handjob
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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