I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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