i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
