two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
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Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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