your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
