Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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