It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
