We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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