just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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