and you said cock pushups were impossible
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
