he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
