im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize