omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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