And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
