If i come over, it means nothing
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize