he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
