last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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