You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
