he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
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I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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