before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
