why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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