He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
