nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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