i barfeds in our rink
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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