Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
