dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
