i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
