I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
