the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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