That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
