I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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