..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
